The Recovering

«It was hard to imagine we were trying to escape anything, much less each other; but in truth I was escaping something subtler: the possibility of any distance, any fissure, any silence, any seam. We talked about everything, including how maybe we drank too much.

All my life I had believed – at first unwittingly, then explicitly – that I had to earn affection and love by being interesting, and so I had frantically tried to become really fucking interesting. Once I hit the right relationship, I planned to hurl my interestingness at it, like a final exam I’d spent my whole life studying for. This was it.»

Leslie Jamison, The Recovering. Intoxication and its aftermath.

Madrid, 2017

(*)I’ve been searching for a trail to follow again, take me back to the night we met.